We
need to be blunt here: sexual dangers are monumental
for today's teenagers. With TV, teen
magazines,
music, and movies promoting sexual activity among teens, your
kids are exposed to images making sexual activity look exciting
and even popular.
Think of all the kids at school talking about how "far" they
went on a date last weekend or even last night. |
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The pressure
for your teen to be more sexual, including engaging in sexual activity,
is stronger than ever. With all the talk of fondling,
oral
sex, and intercourse among today's teenagers, how do you
protect
your daughter (or son)?
You know the old parenting tactics of the past will not work with
your children, and letting them find out on their own is way
too dangerous
and scary! Why
is "making your child safe" such a daunting task? Because
you can't always be there to protect them, especially when they're
dating or going to parties where "hook-ups" are going
to happen.
With
parenting magazines and websites typically geared at parents of
kids under 10 years old, where
do you find advice for talking to you teen? Have you tried
talking to your teen about dating, sex, and intimacy? Isn't it
amazing how teenagers don't believe you can possibly understand the
feelings they are going through?
"The
Look." If you've tried talking to your teen
about dating, then you've probably already gotten the "look." You know the
one. The look of "don't even bother." Sometimes you give your kids that same "look" when
you get frustrated with them. The more annoyed you become, the more
you start to lecture. Let's see if you can relate to any of the
responses below:
| Usual
teenager responses to" the talk" |
- Rolling of the eyes
- The
look of "You don't know anything. You don't get it."
- "Yea,
Yea, Whatever" as they walk away.
- "I
am not talking with YOU about this."
- "I'm
not doing any of this stuff anyways. You don't need to
worry."
- "I
get it, okay?" |
As
you know, many teenagers love to talk with their friends about intimacy,
dating, boys, girls, and even sexual situations. If they are having
fun talking to their friends while getting lectured to by their
parents, who are they likely to follow? Think back to your teenage
years for a moment.
As a parent, trying
to "figure this out" on your own can be a very
difficult.
Once you say one statement your teen feels is not "cool",
you can lose your credibility with him or her. Then you are likely
to fall into 1 of 2 traps. You try to overcompensate and suddenly
be cool or you go into the "Because I said so" mode. Now
your teen is reminded of how much you don't understand them or their
world. Suddenly, you've lost a golden opportunity for a vitally
important connection to your teenager. Who wins? Their friends.
Who loses in the long-run? You and your teen!
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